…Nasul: marginalizat chiar in redactia Ziua?

noiembrie 18, 2009 0

…intreb, nu dau cu parul. De cateva zile, insa, observesc o prapastie tot mai mare intre tonul materialelor coordonate de catre Mihai Palsu si editorialele + blogurile lui Sorin Rosca Stanescu. Pana de curand, o asemenea discrepanta ar fi fost de neimaginat. Cand Nasul a fost inlocuit de la sefia Ziua, decizia parea mai degraba una formala: cum un prefect numit politic ar iesi brusc de sub influenta partidului doar pentru ca a dobandit peste noapte statut de inalt functionar public; sau dupa cum un presedinte ar deveni, odata investit, al „tuturor romanilor”, uitandu-si deopotriva adversarii si sustinatorii:) era limpede ca Nasul va ramane … „nasul” din umbra. Orice alta varianta parea daca nu imposibila, atunci macar putin probabila.
Uite, insa, ca se poate. De cateva zile, Palsu a abandonat campania impotriva PDL in general si a „Duduii” (expresia le apartine) in particular, punand in schimb tunurile pe PSD, in care trage din toate pozitiile, precum teroristii din Decembrie. Nimic nu-i scapa: nici cumnatul lui Geoana, de la EximBank, deja celebrul Costea, nici Prostanacul, nici „derbedeii” Nastasiu si Radoi. In aceste circumstante, editorialele Nasului au inceput sa sune tot mai mult ca nuca-n perete. Unul il ridica in slavi pe fostul procuror, altul il face derbedeu si-l desfiinteaza, dedicandu-i pagini intregi de „remember”.
Culmea ironiilor face ca, in acest caz, SRS sa cada victima propriei strategii si „scoli de presa”. Daca Ion Cristoiu a introdus in presa romaneasca „gaina cu pui vii”, Nasul a introdus campania de presa in care nu se iau prizonieri. Intr-un ziar echilibrat, cu titluri decente, daca nu neutre, si o varietate de puncte de vedere, o asemenea discrepanta n-ar fi batut la ochi. Ba, dimpotriva, ar fi parut drept o fireasca dezbatere de idei. Asa, insa, miroase mult mai urat: miroase a sange si intestine scoase cu brisca, in crucea noptii.
Sau, cine, stie, poate intreaga redactie Ziua e pe cale de-a suferi vreo metanoia, precum Saul pe drumul Damascului.
Poate a inghetat iadul si noi nu stim – ceea ce-mi aminteste de-un banc prea simpatic pentru a nu fi impartasit (imi cer scuze necunoscatorilor de engleza, dar n-am timp sa-l traduc). Enjoy!
HELL EXPLAINED

 

BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a   University  of Arizona  chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.  
 
The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :  
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?  
 
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.  
One student, however, wrote the following:  
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.  
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
 
This gives two possibilities:  
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.  
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.  
So which is it?  
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’    
 
 
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

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